i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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