is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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