that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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