ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
