she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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