im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i love accidental penises.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Is it penis luge time yet?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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