if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
