Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize