If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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