Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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