Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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