Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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