Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize