i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize