next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
where are my eyebrows?
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