It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
