glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
