I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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