I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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