I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
