He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
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drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
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I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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