Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
and you fell through a lawn chair
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
