I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
