Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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