U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
