Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize