i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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