Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
