The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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