My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Send help, water and tortillas.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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