do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Randomize
