what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
