you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
