Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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