But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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