It's Friday. Sex?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
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She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
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I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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