All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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