remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
