woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
