Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
