This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
