they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
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By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
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Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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