just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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