wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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