Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
