also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize