Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
