I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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