Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
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I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
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I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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