And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
