So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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