the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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