whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
