oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
