I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
