Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
