a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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