I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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