I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize