come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
