I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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